I made a mistake that day – something I could have avoided if I had better data or deeper knowledge. Not intentionally or deliberately at all – I did do what I thought was right. But things slipped, we got a show stopper in a delivery and I spiralled.

I remember my boss at that time noticing and asking, “Varada, is this your first mistake? Or will this be your last?” That hit hard.

At first, my brain resisted. After the initial gasp came the ‘if only’s – if only I would have thought of this possibility, if only I would have…

Not unexpected – that was its pattern, years of ‘being responsible’. It was always like a chain reaction – something that was (or my brain decided it was) my fault. And I would be up in my head for days – having hours of conversation with someone else or myself, trying to prove my fault or my innocence. Yes, it varies. 🤷🏻‍♀️

But that moment stayed with me: mistakes are not finite in my lifetime.

Then came Covid – advertisements everywhere about protecting yourself from touching anything that could carry germs, face masks and hand sanitizers, about how a sneeze can carry molecules and viruses for up to 8 meters around.

And my brain – the pattern seeker that it is – was awed. A sneeze – something that happens in seconds was so powerful! So, life did change its course in seconds then. Wow!

Covid was also a time I got to read – from stories to random things to weird things – and I stumbled across an article that spoke of the power of a 3-second-pause to ‘respond’ instead of ‘react’. That caught my attention. I kept going back to it.

Sometimes not thinking about it for weeks, sometimes diligently practicing it myself.

When I felt anger, fear, frustration, when I started spiraling – I took time to count 1-Mississippi, 2-Mississippi, 3-Mississippi. Yes, totally giving a nod to Ross from Friends here 😀 Maybe it was the image of hopelessly spray tanned Ross, but that counting to three shifted something in my brain – something that was enough to step back and truly ‘decide’ on my response. Not just go with my first reaction to the situation, often a poor reaction.

Have I mastered it then? Absolutely NOT!

I am a work-in-progress in this department. But I can say with 100% honesty: the power of the 3-second-pause is real.

It’s grace in its smallest form.

Your boss got mad at you for something that isn’t your fault? Count 3 Mississippis.

Your kids’ school bus is late so you have to drop them off and then you get late to your first important meeting? Count 3 Mississippis.

Something terrible, shocking, absolutely irreversible happened? Count 3 Mississippis.

The 3 Mississippis won’t solve any problem. No, they won’t.

But what they will do is give your brain enough breathing room to solve, or accommodate, or accept whatever it is that you need to deal with.

Yes, there will be tears and grief and fears that are immune to this. Sometimes the conditioning of our brain is too hard wired in some patterns. I am sorry if you are a dog lover, but my irrational fear of canines was an exception to this, even till this day. You and your beloved furry friends have my sincere apologies.

But for everything else where I have counted, I have never once regretted this.

Give it a try. Tell me what you discover with 3-Mississippis 😃

Hugs!
~Varada